Going out reminded me of a few things.
1) I don’t like getting ready to go out. I hate putting on makeup & I hate doing my hair. I like wearing jeans & a t-shirt, or sweat pants and a hoodie. I feel most beautiful and happy, when I’m comfortable and fresh faced.
2) I am not jealous of people who party and always have stuff going on. I’m so much more happy spending time with my family. When I’m at home with my family, or my two best friends Carlie and Amanda, I don’t have to worry about rumors, dirty looks, shit-talking, impressing anyone, or being judged. Why would ANYONE want that stuff dragging them down?
3) I’ve reached a point in my life where I’ve messed up enough to realize what is really going to matter in a year, and what is going to dissipate by the morning. I don’t need to party to have fun. I want to look back a year from now and be proud of what I did, not ashamed or oblivious. I surround myself with the people who love and know me, because they’re the ones who matter. I feel bad for so many of the people I see out, doing the same thing every weekend, going nowhere. I really do.
I don’t know what to call it.. Maturity? Wisdom? Point of view?
Whatever it is, I’m glad I reached this point in my life.
I’m glad I’m here and I finally see, know and grasp what & who matters.